


LEO VALDEZ: User Guide and Manual

by Pestilent_Privateer (Bubonic_Buccaneer)



Series: Olympus Inc. Unit Guides and Manuals [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, this is a direct parody of the hetalia unit guides
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 07:27:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5530958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubonic_Buccaneer/pseuds/Pestilent_Privateer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>CONGRATULATIONS! You've just purchased a LEO VALDEZ unit. In order to ensure you have the best time with him, we've provided this manual for your safety and your unit's well-being!</p><p>Parody of 0ptimuspenguin's Hetalia unit guides!</p>
            </blockquote>





	LEO VALDEZ: User Guide and Manual

**Author's Note:**

> If any of this sounds off or is incorrect, please tell me! I might of gotten some things wrong like nicknames or other things.

**LEO VALDEZ: User Guide and Manual**

**CONGRATULATIONS!** You have just purchased your very own LEO VALDEZ unit. This manual was written in order to allow you, the owner, to unlock your unit’s full potentials, and it is advised that you read this before trying anything. Mistreatment of your LEO VALDEZ unit might lead to serious burns and or a large mechanical dragon stomping on you.

**Technical Specifications:**

Name: Leo Valdez. Also responds to “Repair Boy”, “Admiral”, “Mr. Spock”, “Supreme Commander of the Argo II”, “Super Sized Mcshizzle”, and “Bad Boy Supreme.” He will respond negatively to any Mexican or Hispanic related slurs.

Age: 16\. Olympus Inc. would like to remind the customer that, while the unit is manufactured to look underage, the unit is completely legal. It is advised to not do anything in front of a police officer nonetheless.

Place of Manufacture:  Olympus Inc. Headquarters, Greek Division.

Height: 5’6’’.

Weight: Approximately 102 lbs. The LEO VALDEZ unit would not allow Olympus Inc. personnel to accurately measure his weight. Reminder that the unit is underweight for his age and height.

**Your LEO VALDEZ unit comes with the following:**

Five (5) standard outfits. (White button up shirt, gray or black jeans, and sturdy work boots)

One (1) green Army jacket

One (1) magical tool belt

One (1) three pound hammer

One (1) mechanical dragon or mechanical dragon head

Five (5) large barrels of motor oil mixed with hot sauce

One (1) Buford

Two (2) pairs of suspenders

Three (3) cases of various tools

One (1) fire extinguisher

**Programming**

Your LEO VALDEZ unit comes equipped with the following traits:

Technician/Mechanic/Welder:  LEO VALDEZ is a very accomplished mechanic. Any nearby people with technical issues will soon be clamoring to have your unit fix their messes!

Fire Dancer:  Due to your unit’s ability to conjure flames out of thin air, any kind of job involving fire will be perfect for him. A job at the nearby carnival would be a good investment.

Comedian:  LEO VALDEZ is known for his jokes but beware! Some of them are terrible and will not get a very good reaction. Besides a couple dud jokes, your unit will soon have people gasping for breath due to dying of laughter at any comedy club or venue you put him in.

Translator:  The LEO VALDEZ unit comes with the ability to speak four languages other than English. LEO VALDEZ can speak Mexican Spanish, Greek, Ancient Greek, and Morse code.Your unit can make quick money with giving people directions or even making a career of it!

Teacher: Your unit, while insecure with his abilities, is very good with telling stories and imparting information so being a teacher is good for him. He could possibly handle anything from kindergarten to high school.

**Removal of your LEO VALDEZ Unit from Packaging**

This may prove to be an extremely difficult task if your LEO VALDEZ unit is moved incorrectly, or awakened in the wrong manner. For your safety, we have provided a list of safe ways in which to wake your unit:

  1. If you have any friends who can do a good Hispanic accent, have them yell out your unit’s name. He will immediately leave the box proclaiming his innocence in whatever he did. Once he sees that it is not his mother, he will be dejected. You can reprogram him at that moment.
  2. Cook authentic and aromatic Mexican food like huevos rancheros or enchiladas. He will leave the box and search out the food. He will be thankful to you if you give it to him and will be grumpy if you don’t.
  3. Researchers at Olympus Inc. have found out that if you stand by the box and proclaim your unit’s awesomeness loudly, you can open the box easily after waiting for the tell-tall agreements from inside the box.
  4. Your unit will come out of the box if any nearby PIPER McLEAN, JASON GRACE, HAZEL LEVESQUE, or FRANK ZHANG units are nearby. Special edition CALYPSO and HEPHAESTUS units can also wake up the LEO VALDEZ unit. He will eagerly come out for CALYPSO and hesitantly for HEPHAESTUS.



**Reprogramming**

After successfully getting your LEO VALDEZ unit out of his box, you can reprogram him out of his default modes if you choose to do so.

_Easygoing (default)_

_Jokester (default)_

_Lovestruck_

_Serious_

_Evasive_

_Dejected_

_Dark (locked)_

LEO VALDEZ has two default modes which are both simple to understand. _Easygoing_ means that he is his normal energetic, upbeat, funny, and flirty self. It seems like nothing can get him down in this mode. _Jokester_ is his other default mood and this means that he will make many jokes at the expense of himself and others and will play pranks occasionally. You can ask him to not play pranks and 9/10 times he will do so.

 _Lovestruck_ is activated by placing LEO VALDEZ in a room or dangerous situation with a strong and beautiful woman. It has not been researched to see if the same thing happens with a man, but you could always try your luck. o get your unit out of this mode just make him see the flaws of his love interest, keeping him away from them for a long time, or by placing him into _Dejected_ mode.

LEO VALDEZ enters _Serious_ mode whenever he starts to work on a machine or project. In _Serious_ , LEO VALDEZ will not eat, sleep, or even look away from what he's doing unless you force him to. _Serious_ is not an easy mode to get out of. It can be broken by placing him into _Lovestruck_ or by waiting it out.

Whenever you cannot find heads or tails of your unit, he is in his _Evasive_ mode. _Evasive_ is after LEO VALDEZ has been neglected for anywhere from a day to a week and has been thinking about himself. Your LEO VALDEZ is very insecure and commonly feels inferior so being alone for a while is detrimental to your unit's health. To get your unit out of _Evasive_ , sit him down and talk to him while complimenting him and reassuring him that he is wanted and useful.

LEO VALDEZ can enter _Dejected_ by getting rejected or by becoming more self-conscious than normal. Some people have told us it is like a mild _Evasive_ mode. To get him out of _Dejected_ is the same as getting him out of _Evasive_ with talking to him and reassuring him.

 _Dark_ is a locked mode of your unit. _Dark_ happens when LEO VALDEZ finds fault with the gods and how they've done things. Your unit begins to think that he could rule the demigods better and is characterized by not performing offerings and speaking critically of the gods. His powers are less controlled, too. Having a CALYPSO or HEPHAESTUS unit visit him and take an interest in his life typically gets him out of _Dark_ and back into _Easygoing_ and _Jokester_.

 

**Relationships with Other Units:**

 

PIPER McLEAN: Your unit and PIPER McLEAN have a close relationship and are good friends. They have known each other for years and they care deeply for each other. There is no chance of a relationship between them as they see each other as siblings.

JASON GRACE: LEO VALDEZ is a close friend with JASON GRACE as they have known each other for about as long as they have known PIPER McLEAN. Your unit is commonly jealous of JASON GRACE so make sure to show your unit a lot of appreciation after encounters with them. It is unknown if there is the chance of a relationship between them.

HAZEL LEVESQUE: They are friends with each other after being very awkward around each other in the beginning. They have a sibling-like relationship and your unit trusts HAZEL LEVESQUE enough to tell her sensitive information. There is a decent chance for a relationship if FRANK ZHANG isn't there. Alternatively, there could be a relationship chance between LEO VALDEZ, HAZEL LEVESQUE and FRANK ZHANG if all three of them are into polyamory.

FRANK ZHANG: They have become friends with each other after a rocky beginning. FRANK ZHANG originally didn't like your unit and would be somewhat openly hostile with arguing and vocally not trusting LEO VALDEZ. They are friends now and LEO VALDEZ trusts him enough to tell him sensitive information. There is a possibility for a relationship if HAZEL LEVESQUE isn't there. Alternatively, there could be a relationship chance between LEO VALDEZ, HAZEL LEVESQUE and FRANK ZHANG if all three of them are into polyamory.

PERSEUS JACKSON: The two of them were awkward around each other at first and had little similarities. Later LEO VALDEZ was resentful of PERSEUS JACKSON due to him leaving CALYPSO on her island, not making sure she was freed by the gods. Eventually they became friends and are known to tease each other. There is no chance of them forming a relationship outside of platonic.

ANNABETH CHASE: Your unit cares for ANNABETH CHASE and is also a bit afraid of her. They bonded due to engineering and machinery and have grown due to each other. LEO VALDEZ and ANNABETH CHASE can also communicate together in Morse Code. There is no chance of them forming a relationship outside of platonic.

NICO DI ANGELO: They are not friends but they can be considered allies. LEO VALDEZ is intimidated by NICO DI ANGELO and they annoy each other slightly. There is a good possibility for a relationship if your unit likes males.

REYNA AVILA RAMIREZ ARELLANO: The two have never had a conversation but LEO VALDEZ still considers her an ally and is known to be concerned for her safety. There is little to no chance of a relationship.

WILL SOLACE: LEO VALDEZ was shown around Camp Half-Blood and the Hephaestus Cabin by WILL SOLACE who also explained what it means to be a demigod, PERSEUS JACKSON, and the Titan War. LEO VALDEZ considers him pretty cool and thinks he is a good tour guide. There is a small possibility of a relationship.

CALYPSO: LEO VALDEZ is in love with CALYPSO. They didn't get along at first but later became friends and then began to like each other. LEO VALDEZ swore to get CALYPSO off of Ogygia and later does just that. There is a high chance of a relationship.

THALIA GRACE: LEO VALDEZ used to be in love with THALIA GRACE and hit on her. They are allies even though THALIA GRACE thinks somewhat lowly of him. There is no chance of a relationship.

HEPHAESTUS: LEO VALDEZ is known to be annoyed with HEPHAESTUS and his lack of contact in his life. They get along slightly better after that and have fought side by side. HEPHAESTUS is proud of LEO VALDEZ. There is no chance of a relationship past father and son.

**Cleaning**

LEO VALDEZ can clean himself and would prefer to do it alone but it's best to make sure that he cleans himself regularly. He is known to ignore hygiene to work on one of his projects.

**Feeding**

LEO VALDEZ can also feed himself but it will most likely not be very nutritious and it will not be on a regular schedule. Watch out for him.

**Frequently Asked Questions**

Q: Why .is there an alive table with my unit?

A: That's just Buford. He is one of LEO VALDEZ's creations and is dear to him. Do not try to actually use Buford as a table and don't try to use him as firewood. LEO VALDEZ will turn _Dark_ , no exceptions

Q: Who is Aunt Rosa and why does Leo keep mentioning her in his dreams?

A: First, those are nightmares. Second, Aunt Rosa is his relative who blamed LEO VALDEZ for his mother's death, called him a devil, and turned the entire family against him. Don't bring it up first, let him broach the topic.

Q: He's crying in front of me and I don't know what to do!

A: This isn't a question but we will address it anyways! This means that your unit finally trusts you completely. Comfort him immediately instead of reading this manual.

**Troubleshooting**

Problem: You wake up and don't see your LEO VALDEZ anywhere. When you finally locate him he's building what looks to be a dangerous weapon. LEO VALDEZ is speaking rapidly in Spanish and looks... deranged. 

Solution: You have found you unit's _Snapped_ mode! He is beyond caring about anyone and he wants to watch the world and the gods burn. Hide your valuables, your friends, and yourself. A team will be sent out immediately to subdue him before he tries anything. You will get a replacement unit soon!

Problem: Instead of a teenage LEO VALDEZ, you received a toddler. He keeps asking for his "mama" and someone called Tia Callida.

Solution: We sent you a young LEO VALDEZ instead. He is even worse at controlling his pyrokinesis but is ridiculously adorable. We can send you a replacement if you want but becareful. LEO VALDEZ is adorable as a child and will steal your heart. 

**End notes**

With proper care and treatment of your unit, LEO VALDEZ will become a great companion. There is a lifetime warranty on him, so if there are any problems that Customer Services cannot help you with, send him back and tell us what went wrong. Good luck and we advise you to fire-proof your home!


End file.
